SESSION 16

Listen to Joe Hawk's tenth tape.

Step nine - "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

Step 9 is the freedom from spiritual bondage and closure on my past.

Formal Amends, Letter, Phone Call, or Face to Face

1. Review the 8th step list. Pray over each name I have selected. Is this God's time to approach the person? We remember that we are working with our perception of what harm we have done.
2. We do not barge in and interrupt lives, families or employment. We have no right to cause anyone any additional harm.
3. Make an appointment with the person or get permission from a family member to approach them. Remember to ask, make no demands. Do no harm in the approach.
4. Ask them personally if they want to see me.
5. It is important to remember to continue to have the willingness to make amends regardless of the consequences.
6. A suggested method of approach is: I don't know if you are aware of this or not, but for the last _____ years/months, I've been involved in a program of recovery.
7. Tell why you're are there. (It is suggested that you have your eighth step list with you or an index card with what are the main issues are with this person so you can stay focused if you are doing this face to face.)
8. Part of the program of recovery is that I look back through my life in what we call an inventory and I see a lot of what was behind what I did to you and what it had to do with my selfishness, my self-centeredness, my dishonesty, and my fear. A big part of my program is that I come to the people that I've harmed and make amends or I'm not going to stay sober.
9. Let them know it's a life or death thing you're doing here, the seriousness of it. Then tell them what you have seen where you were wrong. i.e.
   I stole $500 from you...
   I talked bad about you in front of _____ (Don't assume you know how that harmed them).
10. Ask them if you ever did anything else that harmed them that they need to tell you about?
11. Do you need to tell me how and what is it I did that hurt you? Then Shut Up and Listen!
12. What can I do to make it right? (Arrange the best deal you can to settle the issues.)